I’ve always had a ‘Golden Rule‘…..
My ‘golden rule‘ has ALWAYS been to NEVER EVER become Facebook ‘friends‘ with your current work colleagues.
This isn’t because I dislike my current work colleagues….quite the contrary……in fact, i’m really enjoying where I work at the moment, and the office based staff are some of the loveliest people you could wish to meet….(in fact, I may well do a blog about the differences between Brummies and folks from the Black Country….because, despite the close proximity….they’re REALLY different…..but, in a good way!).
Anyway….the real reason I made this ‘golden rule‘ is because I don’t like the thought of my current work colleagues knowing EVERYTHING about me…..and, as you’ll know if you read my blog on a daily basis, I don’t have MANY (ANY) secrets.
You see, it’s extremely difficult to maintain a serious conversation about a ‘loan proposal‘ when you know that the colleague you’re talking to, knows that you, a) ‘YOU SHIT YOURSELF AT THE GYM‘ (http://wp.me/p31fqD-s3) or, b) ‘YOU WONDER WHAT CELEBRITIES BEARDS SMELL LIKE‘ (http://wp.me/p31fqD-jV) , or, c) ‘YOU POSTED SEVERAL REVIEWS OF THE BABESTATION CHANNEL‘ (http://wp.me/p31fqD-8u).
I’ve always maintained this ‘Golden Rule‘ throughout my working life…choosing only to befriend people on Facebook from a safe distance….and ALWAYS once I’ve left the company.
Once i’m out of sight…..please feel free to laugh heartily at my of embarrassing incidents….it’s no problem….because, I CAN’T SEE YOU!
Most of the people who read this pile of old tits are usually ex-schoolmates (who live miles away from me, and i’ll NEVER SEE AGAIN), close friends (who know what i’m like anyway, and don’t care what I say), family members (who’ll love me despite the filth that emanates from my brain), or EX work colleagues (who i’ll NEVER SEE AGAIN!).
But, not anymore!
So….two weeks ago, I was chatting to a lovely lady (i’ll call her, Nicola….mainly because her name IS Nicola) who works in the Customer Service Team at my current employers head office……we got round to talking about ‘stuff we do in our spare time‘….and, I mentioned that I’d recently started writing a blog….she seemed interested….so…I contemplated making her my Facebook friend (thus breaking my Golden Rule).
I took the plunge….with the express intention of keeping it to ONE WORKMATE ONLY!!
Then…at the weekend, she cut her finger……and, she posted a picture of her cut finger on Facebook….and, I made the schoolboy error of ‘commenting‘ on her photo….
SHIT!
Within 24 hours, i’d been ‘friend requested‘ by another work colleague (Hello, Michelle!)
Within 72 hours, Pilchard Rabies had been searched on Google….
And today….as I walked through the office, I was called ‘Pilchard‘ on a number of occasions….
Even one of the heads of department pulled me to one side and asked me if i’d “managed to sell my baby walker to the polish woman at the car boot sale?!” (http://wp.me/p31fqD-ph)
Thankfully, I have a bright red face 100% of the time….so, he may not have been able to see my embarrassment…..but, I doubt it!
The thing is…I’ve always written this blog for a bit of a laugh….and, i’ve never really contemplated that people may ACTUALLY read it!
But, apparently they do…..
And now…..the cat is out of the bag…..I’ve been exposed!
So….to all of my lovely work colleagues…..please take everything I write on here with a BIG pinch of salt….deep down in my heart, I AM NORMAL…..I think?
Please don’t fire me!
I need this job!
Right…..I think that’s just about enough begging and arse kissing…..it’s time for me to crack on with some fart jokes!
Ta ra. x
pilchardrabies 