I’ve always liked to eat ‘as a family‘.
At the end of each day, I think it’s really important to sit down at the dining room table and eat together……..unless you’re part of OUR family….and then, it’s just like watching a chimps tea party (this is mainly because we sit in tyre swings, and throw handfuls of our own shit at each other).
So…..this evening, Elle prepared us a delicious ‘microwave curry‘ and, a selection of ‘oven bake‘ starters and naan breads (take that Nigella Lawson…..with your shitty home cooked food!).
We all sat down at the table, and tucked in to the samosa’s, spring rolls and onion bhaji’s…..Bridie was having a bit of pasta instead as we thought the curry would be too spicy.
Once we’d polished off the starters, Elle bought the curry over…..with a plate of four naan breads……and, that’s where it all went tits up!
We all took a naan bread and tucked into our curries…..
Not five minutes later, Edie’s hand shot out, and grabbed the 4th naan bread.
Elle looked at me, and then looked at Edie, and said, “Edie, that was a bit rude….you could’ve asked if it was OK to have the extra naan bread!”.
Edie just grinned…..and then, licked both sides of the naan bread before squashing it into the table with her fist!
I couldn’t help but stifle a grin at her bare faced cheek…..the greedy little git!
But, I wasn’t having any of it…..so….I reached over and grabbed the naan bread and licked it all over too (my theory was, ‘if I can’t have it, Edie can’t have it either’).
“Urrrrgggghhh“, said Edie, and grabbed the naan bread back……she then dipped half of it in her glass of cola.
“Gross…“, said Elle.
I said nothing…..I calmly reached over, and picked up the naan bread and dipped it into my beer before placing it back on the plate.
“Right!”, said Elle…..”You two are going to eat that naan bread, or you’re NOT leaving this table!”
“I’m not eating it“, said Edie.
“I’m not eating it either….she started it!”, I said
Elle clearly had it in for me….”You’re supposed to teach our kids good table manners….and, look at you….licking a naan bread like a spoilt brat!”
“What!!! She started it!“, I said, pointing at Edie.
“I don’t care….eat it!”, said Elle….her tone was stern, and deadly serious.
“You’re not kidding are you?”, I said.
“EAT IT“, said Elle
Edie looked really pleased with herself!
Her own dad was getting punished (for something SHE had started!) and, was now being forced to eat a dripping wet, spit covered, cola and beer flavoured naan bread!
I grabbed the naan bread….I tore it into two pieces….I dipped it into the chicken tikka sauce…..and…..
ATE IT!
It was…..without doubt…..the most disgusting thing I’ve tasted since Elle’s Pineapple Creams.
Elle and Edie both laughed……a lot!
Bridie was too busy mixing a choc-ice with pesto to be bothered to laugh…..
Laugh away dear family……I won’t forget……
Oh no! I will NEVER forget…….
pilchardrabies 