Stewie & Brian Go For A Walk

I’ve just come in from an eventful walk with my very own ‘Stewie and Brian‘.

If you’re not a fan of the TV show ‘Family Guy‘, then, you won’t have a clue what I’m talking about…….if that is the case, I suggest that you tune back in tomorrow, when I’ll more than likely be talking about farts again!

Anyway, Family Guy is an animated comedy show from America (a bit like an X-rated Simpson’s), and it features a character called Stewie……who, is a possibly gay, homicidal baby who can communicate with the the family dog.
Brian, is the family’s alcoholic pooch….who desperately wants to be a writer….and has a hilarious….and, often violent love/hate relationship with Stewie.

They are the funniest characters in the show……

This evening, I took Bridie and Maisy out for quick walk, whilst Elle got the dinner ready.

Throughout the walk, our Bridie was pointing and waving at trees, cars and people….AND CLEARLY COMMUNICATING WITH THE DOG!!

Every time Bridie pointed at something, she looked directly at Maisy….and babbled some baby talk along with various gesticulations, which made it look like she was genuinely having a discussion with the dog.

I stopped for a few minutes in order to do my shoe lace up…….whilst Maisy sat directly in front of the pushchair and listened intently as Bridie explained her plans for world domination or something.

As I finished doing my shoelace up, Bridie came to the end of her babble……and…..I swear to God…..the dog talked back!

Maisy does this weird yelpy, growly, whingy sound when she gets excited (eg: she sees a squirrel, she sees a kite, or, she sees food fall on the floor)….and, she started off on a 30 second ‘response‘ to Bridie’s ‘babble‘ question.

I just stood there, aghast at what was happening before my very eyes…..an animal, and a human were communicating…..but what the hell were they saying to each other?

The minute that Maisy finished yelping, she lay on her side, and licked her arsehole for 20 seconds whilst Bridie sat in her pushchair, clapping…..

Christ knows what they were talking about…and, now….i’m not really sure I want to know!

How I Stack Up In Comparison To TV Dad’s (Not Transvestite Dad’s)

Today is Father’s Day…..

If I was being negative (Really, Rich? You? Negative?), i’d say that Father’s Day is a manufactured celebration formulated by greetings card companies in order for them to make more money…..just like Valentines Day!

But, if I was being positive, I’d say that Father’s Day is a good time to reflect on what makes your own Dad great……and, then thank him for being a wonderful, positive influence in your life (by buying him some socks and a shitty card)….unless, of course, if he’s a complete and utter douchebag…..and, if that is the case….then, FUCK HIM…..he doesn’t deserve you!

As we all know, there’s no ‘guide‘ to being a successful parent….children don’t come with a user manual….so, being a ‘good dad‘ is a completely unquantifiable concept.

So, what makes a ‘good dad‘?

Well….if you looked to the media for an answer, you’d quickly see that most ‘TV dad’s‘ are routinely portrayed as bumbling, feckless idiots…..for example:

Homer Simpson (The Simpsons)
Peter Griffin (Family Guy)
Daddy Pig (Peppa Pig)
Jim Royle (The Royle Family)
Frank Gallagher (Shameless)
Ray Barone (Everybody Loves Raymond)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2340677/Why-does-TV-portray-dad-dimwit.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

Thankfully, I’ve managed to bluff my way through the last 8 years of being a dad to my two daughters….and, I’d like to think that by and large, I’ve just about scraped by.

Both kids seem pretty well adjusted, and, they both seem pretty healthy and happy…..but, most importantly, they don’t outwardly appear to despise me….which, I’ll take as positive feedback on my dad ability.

So, earlier today, I asked Edie which of these TV dad’s I was most like……

And, here’s what she said:

“You look like Peter Griffin, you’re lazy like Homer, and, you’re fat like Daddy Pig…..but, most of all, you remind me of the daddy in Modern Family”

Brilliant!

I’m most like Phil Dunphy…..

I ‘think‘ I’m cool….but, really, I’m totally uncool and REALLY embarrassing!

Yes!!!!! My mission is complete……

Happy Father’s Day. x

P.S. – Who is your dad most like on TV?
Brian Davies (My dad) is most like Gene Hunt from Life on Mars.